Words are so powerful and leave such an indelible mark - especially on children. Whether positive or negative, words can have a tremendous impact.
Just consider these statements:
"You're worthless."
"How dumb can you be?"
"You'll never amount to anything."
"Are you that stupid?"
"Get your head out of the clouds."
"Why don't you use your brain."
Have you ever heard these words?
Have you ever said them to someone else? To a child?
The thing is, people often believe our assessment of them. They wear our words like a label. They could be words like: lazy, fat, stupid, worthless, pig, retarded, short, clumsy, failure, selfish, and ugly. Or words like: brilliant, beautiful, insightful, creative, funny, smart, bright, kind, and promising.
Which of these descriptions did you buy into as a child? Which ones do you believe today?
If we buy into the negative descriptions, it becomes a vicious cycle. On the other hand, if we buy into the positive descriptions, it becomes a victorious cycle.
Here's what I mean: Our thoughts about ourselves become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Events in life are interpreted in a way that reinforces our preconceived notions. After going through adversity, someone with a negative self image might think, "I wonder what's going to happen to me next! I'm sure it won't be good." Someone with a positive self image might think, "Look at what I've overcome! Nothing can keep me down."
You know, God taught us this long before any psychologists understood it: "Be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts." (Proverbs 4:23) and, also, "As a man thinketh, so is he." (Proverbs 23:7)
The philosopher Goethe aptly said, “The way you see people is the way you treat them and the way you treat them is what they become.” He taught that if we treat people as if they were what they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of being! I believe this wholeheartedly.
Research has shown that when you give someone a compliment, they will strive to live up to it.
Want to conduct your own research? Do what a popular cartoonist did. He decided to amuse himself by sending telegrams to twenty acquaintances selected randomly. Each message contained only one word: “Congratulations!” As far as he knew, not one of them had done anything in particular to be congratulated on. However, each one took the message as a matter of fact and wrote him a letter of thanks. Everyone who received the message had done something that they regarded as clever and worthy of congratulations.
The impact of encouragement is limited only by its lack of use.
So, think about this for a second: how often do you encourage other people? One of my favorite authors, Zig Ziglar says that "most people go around finding fault like there's a prize for it, but I'd rather be a ‘good-finder.’" I agree with Zig, but encouragement doesn't come naturally. It takes practice.
Try this: put 4 coins in your left pocket and as you go through the day today, move one of the coins over to your right pocket each time you encourage someone. It can be pretty eye-opening when you empty your pockets at the end of the day. If the coins are still in the left pocket and you can't specifically remember any words of encouragement that day, you have a lot of work to do tomorrow. If all the coins made it over to the right pocket, try adding a few more tomorrow.
Every successful person can remember a time when someone saw greatness in them and told them so.
As a child, I bought into some negative descriptions. Thankfully, my perceptions changed when other people told me they saw something worthwhile in me. I remember when a teacher told me that I was smart; when an uncle told me I had a good head for business; when a pretty girl told me I was interesting; and when a friend told me I had a good voice.
I also remember when I found out what God thinks of me. Just think, God loves us so much that if He were to put a price tag on you or me, it would read "Jesus" because that was what he was willing to pay for us. You know the verse. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16. It reminds me of a plaque I saw that read, “when I asked Jesus ‘how much do you love me’ He said ‘this much’ as He stretched out His arms on the cross and died.”
When we think about how much God values us, it really doesn't make sense to carry on any of the limiting beliefs that we have bought into.
What limiting beliefs do you still have?
It might be helpful to know that your past doesn't determine your future.
Consider this:
* Beethoven’s music teacher once said, “As a composer, he is hopeless.”* When Thomas Edison was a young boy, his teacher told him he was too stupid to learn anything and suggested that he pursue a field where he might succeed by virtue of his personality.
* When he was 21, F.W. Woolworth got a job in a dry goods store, but his employer would not permit him to wait on customers because he “didn’t have enough sense to close a sale.”
* Michael Jordon was cut from his high school basketball team.
* A newspaper fired Walt Disney because he, “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.”
* Einstein was 4 years old before he could speak.* Isaac Newton did poorly in school and was said to be “unpromising”.
Like these guy's accomplishments prove, our past doesn't determine our future. They believed in themselves because somewhere along the way, they met someone who saw greatness in them, expected it from them, and let them know it.
I see greatness in you and so does God!
~Dan